The Strong Are Saying Nothing
by Lauren and Bee
Summary: a newbie. it's S&S friendly and they have a big part in this story! R
1. Torn

Disclaimer: I own Hannah Ponder and all other new characters

Disclaimer: we own Hannah Parkerson and all other new characters. 

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Okay this is our story.It is Scott & Shelby friendly! But involves a new character that we're pretty confidant you'll like.It revolves around Hannah Parkerson, but we will get enough Scott and Shelby action in here..and no, she will not steal Scott.That storyline is all too familiar, we know you all know that is soooooo true. PLEASE REVIEW

The Strong Are Saying Nothing

Chapter 1

"Where are you from?" Peter asked 16 year old Hannah.He leaned forward in the chair.Her green eyes studied him intensely.

"Nowhere." She said harshly

"Excuse me?" Peter asked.He had never gotten that answer before.

"I used to be from somewhere.I'm not from anywhere anymore." Her voice softened.That was something he had heard one too many times.

"Well....you can be from here from now on." He said.She had already been checked and had already received the speech."Have you had a chance to see the campus or meet any of the Cliffhangers?"

"No." she said."This isn't one of those places where they make a desperate attempt to make you normal,is it?"

"I don't think you'll have a problem with that." Peter said

"Good.Can we get on with this?" she snapped throwing her long wavy black hair over her shoulder.It cascaded down her back..

"Fine, lets go." He said.He took her to the dorm and then to the cafeteria.Scott and Shelby had been caught after lights out again and had kitchens for a week.Shelby was serving next to Scott.She looked up and noticed that Ezra was 3 people down the line from her.She never missed a good chance to bug him.

Hannah walked into the cafeteria and stood watching the line.She didn't want to get in it, but she didn't want to stand outside of it looking like an outsider.A guy with brown hair called out to her.She looked at him

"You wanna cut?" he repeated.

"Yeah. Why not." She said.She grabbed a tray and stood in front of him.

"Uh, I'm Ezra." He said leaning forward and smelling her hair.

"How exciting for you." She said.She thought he was doing something so she turned around.He moved away and smiled.She rolled her eyes.

"Um, what's your name?"

"I don't have a name, my parents didn't believe in giving names.It's a long story, very tragic." She lied sarcastically.

O..k..." Ezra said and decided not to talk to her.She went through the line.

Two people passed Shelby, she knew Ezra was up in line next.Without looking up she said "So Freakin, what'll it be? Dry turkey or cold hot dogs.Personally I would choose- - " she stopped when she looked up and saw a very familiar face."Why...Hannah Parkerson? What in heaven's name are YOU doing here? Did the fashion club expel you for breaking a nail? Or were you getting a little too hefty.Gosh, you look like you're up to..dare I say 100? 105? I think - -"

"Shelby, stop." Scott said.She looked at him.He was right.Shelby dropped two cold hot dogs on her tray.

"Move right along little one" she said and began to serve the next person in line.Scott held an apple in one hand and an orange in the other.

"Which one?" he askedShe gingerly took the apple."Don't worry about Shelby." He said quietly.She nodded and went on to her seat.After Shelby had finished serving everyone she went to go hang up her apron at the same time as Scott.

"Shelby," he said."Leave her alone.It's her first day, she looks like she's been through a lot."

"Well thank you, Captain Obvious.I'll get back to you." She said and tried to leave.He grabbed her wrist

"Really, Shelby." She stopped trying to pull away and stood closer to him.

"If it'll make you happy, I'll leave her alone." She said.

"It will." He said."You know what else would make me happy? I mean...since we're on the subject."

"What?"

"You meeting me in your dorm in 15 minutes."He said.He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away, looking at her for a few seconds while he was walking.She leaned up against the wall.

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"I don't know what isup with these kids, Soph! I've given Scott and Shelby kitchens 3 times in the past two weeks for being out after lights out plus the other kids..."

"Peter it's Spring." Sophie said

"Wow, thanks for the revelation."

"All I'm saying is that when Spring hits...hormones rage.It's classic."

"And what do you propose I do about it?"

"I think it's time for you to refresh their little memories."

"You mean give them the sex talk."

"You got it."

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"Scott, quit." Shelby said.She could say it but not make him.She didn't really want to either.He moved his hand out from under her shirt and down to her waist.

"Why." He said.He didn't really mean it as a question to be answered.He pulled her closer, urging her to lean into him.

"No, Scott." She repeated as he kissed her neck.He was getting pretty daring with her.His lips met hers.He moved his hands to her bra.She pushed him away."Scott, I said quit it.We shouldn't be doing this." She said, hugging herself.He sulked."Besides...we're gonna be late." She said standing up "And we're already in deep with Peter."

"Since when did you become so 'Holier than thou'" he asked.She sat back down, but said nothing."I don't GET you.It's not like you've never done this before."

"Excuse me Scott, not with someone I LOVE." She said getting angry

"Yeah, well then there shouldn't be a problem." He said.

"That's not fair, You know that I love you."

"I do not.You told me ONCE.And you could barely get it out then.You know what never mind, what a waste of time." He said grabbing his jacket.

"Scott, don't be mad." She said.What he had said was true.He stopped.He moved closer to her and put an arm around her.

"I'm not...I'm frustrated.I just think we're old enough."

"I'm scared."

"Of me?"

"No."

"What then?"

"I don't know." She said."It's not that I don't want to." She said.He turned his head" I do! I just....like what we have right now.I don't want something like sex to get in the way, and I dont want to be looking back on our relationship with regret because of one mistake we made."

Scott thought for a minute."Comprende." He said."Tell me about it on the way to class."

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	2. Please Do Not Address Me In Public

The Strong Are Saying Nothing

Chapter 2 

"So...." Scott started.

Shelby looked up at him, her eyes studying his light blue eyes, his sexy full lips, his intense jaw.Then her eyes started moving downward.She then looked down at the ground embarrassed.*Here I am telling Scott I don't want to have sex, when that's exactly what I'm thinking about.*

"Shel?" Scott asked waving his hand in front of her face

"Yeah?" *Keep your eyes on the ground, Shel.Keep your eyes on the ground.*

Scott laughed."Why won't you look at me?" he asked, tilting her chin up towards his.

Shelby bit her lip. *Damn, he is hot*

Scott's gaze didn't leave her face, his fingers still grazing her chin. * God, she is so beautiful*

Shelby's trance then came to an end."Um....what were we going to talk about again?" she asked while turning her head.

Scott noticed how uncomfortable she had become and quickly put his hand in his pocket."I don't remember," he said quietly.

Shelby managed a nervous smile."Well, um, I want......" she trailed off as her gaze settled on Scott's perfect lips."you," she half whispered, lost in the moment.

"Scott's eyes widened in surprise."You want....." he started to ask

*Oh, shit!* "No, no!" Shelby sputtered., realizing what she had just said."I mean, I want to go in the classroom," she explained quickly."I didn't mean that!I......"She stopped as she saw Hannah walk towards her.Their eyes locked. She Shelby turned from nervous and embarrassed to angry and upset."What are you lookin at, slut?" she shot at Hannah, the hatred building up inside of her.

Hannah's blood boiled*Who the hell does she think she is?*

She brushed past the couple, grazing her hand on Scott's butt as she walked towards the classroom.

Hannah then gave Shelby a smirk and stalked off. *Ha! Now she thinks I'm goin for the football jock.SO not my style.*She smiled.*AT least I know I struck a nerve*

Shelby angrily turned back to Scott.No longer was she feeling romantic."Ugh! I hate her!" she hissed

Scott sighed."Come on, Shel,you don't even know her!Give the girl a chance!"

Shelby took a step back, feelings of anger and confusion washing over her.She was speechless.Her BOYFRIEND was taking the enemy's side.She was feeling too much.So she decided to do what she always did when it was too much.She walked away.

"Shel!" Scott called after her."Shelby, don't you walk away from me.You can walk away from the problem but it's going to be here when you get back, so what's the point?" he called.She stopped.He was right.She turned.She allowed him to jog up to her."Look, let's not fight, ok?I don't want to fight, especially over this.It's dumb."

"You're right." She admitted."Just...let's not talk about Hannah."

"Agreed." He said.He offered her his arm and she took it.

Scott and Shelby walked through the door of the classroom right before they would've been counted late.They were lucky, that would've meant another unneeded kitchens or maybe even shuns this time.Sophie gave them a 'you're lucky' look as they sat down at the table with Daisy.She glanced at them.Hannah was sitting at a table with Juliette and Auggie.

Class started and Shelby sat,her chin resting on her hand, yawning every once in a while.When Sophie gave them some time to do the assignment, Shelby got up to sharpen her pencil.She walked by Hannah's table and saw that Hannah was reaching for a book across the table.She smiled and walked by and on the way she pushed the book to the floor.

"Oops.My bad." She said.She chuckled and went to the sharpener.Auggie reached down and picked it up.He handed it to her. Hannah glared at Shelby, and Shelby smiled hatefully.She went back to her seat.Daisy looked at her for a minute. "Do I have a hole through me yet? What?"

"Oh please.You've been hateful to her since she got here.Not just your normal hateful...really mean.Don't expect me not to want to know what the story is."

"Not much of one."Shelby said.

"Yeah right.That's why she ended up here."

"Look I don't know why she's here." Shelby lied."I just used to know her."

"That's it?" Scott chimed in

"Are you really that interested, guys?" she laughed

"Yes." They both said monotone at the same time

"Okay fine.Hannah and I used to be...I guess I would say best friends.The first time I ran away, I guess she stumbled into the popular crowd.And when I came back...she figured she was too good for me, and now we hate each other.Standard.Not really a tragedy."

Nobody said anything for a minute."That still doesn't explain why she's here." Scott said.Shelby was getting so sick of Hannah.

"Who cares?!I have better things to do than repeat what so and so said about Hannah at the lunch table, so if you wanna know, you go ask her yourself, 'Mr. Don't Worry About Shelby'!"she said quoting what he had said to Hannah at lunch.She slammed her notebook shut and headed for the door.She bumped right into Peter.

"And where are you going?" he asked looking down at her.

"Away." She said.

"Wrong.Go sit down." He said.He led her back to her seat.She sat down and sulked.Scott kept looking over her.She sure knew how to make someone feel guilty.Peter started talking.Scott focused on Peter and said just loud enough so that she could hear

"Sorry."

"Whatever." She said and leaned back in her seat.It didn't make it better.

"Okay, Cliffhangers, It was recommended that I 'refresh' your memories on the rules of Horizon.No sex in particular.I've had a lot of problems with people getting a little touchy feely especially in this group."He said.David snickered.Peter paused for a moment and looked at him."I'm not gonna repeat things you already know.You know that it's not permitted, you know the natural consequences...especially for you girls...and you know the consequences **I **have if you get caught."

"So what would be the point of this?" Scott asked with a tired look on his face.

"The point is, and I was getting to that, that nothing that I could say or already have said is going to stop you from having sex.If you decide you're gonna do it aint nobody gonna stop you.I was a teenager once, I know."

"And the point still isn't clear to me."Scott said.Peter grabbed a shoe box and dropped it on the table.The top was already off."Peter..these are condoms."

"Yes, they are."

"But...."

" Like I said, nothing I say is going to stop you.So if you're going to do it be safe." He said" I want you all to get some of these.I don't care if you're planning on having sex or not get some of them." He said.

"Are you serious?!" Juliette asked.

"Dead.Get a few.Pass them around.I'm checking your hands when you leave.I'm serious."The box went around the room, a snicker heard every once in a while.Peter expected this kind of reaction.On the way out he checked all of their hands to make sure they all had some.When they had all passed and were outside for a break, Sophie came up to Peter.

"That was not what I meant.You're encouraging them."

"I don't think I am." He said."You'll see...they think this is weird." He said.She shrugged.

All the cliffhangers were kind of standing around, some sitting down at the picnic tables.Shelby sat next to Hannah.

"You might as well throw those away." Shelby hissed."You'll have no use for them."

"Get lost, Creep." Hannah said.

"Ooh, three words, you're making progress."

"Shelby what happened to us? We were such good friends."

"9th grade happened, and so did your ego.I'm not over here to make conversation or didn't you notice."

"Then what are you over here for?" Hannah hissed

"To let you know you're out of your element.You may have been queen of the hill back home, but here you're nothing.And everybody may think you're perfect....but I know you're not.I know better than anybody and sooner or later they're all gonna figure out that you're nothing but a fake."

"You don't know anything about me anymore.Things have changed.I've changed."

"I believe me, I know.You just don't know it yet.I'll tell them Hannah."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you do.I'm not the only one familiar with the streets." Shelby hinted.Hannah's eyes got wide."But then again I can't tell them can I?Because I don't know anything about you."Shelby got up and started to leave.

"Shelby wait!"

"Please do not address me in public." Shelby shot and walked off

**********Flashback*********

Shelby had just come back from the streets for the first time and was back in school.She hadn't seen Hannah in weeks and was excited.She saw the long black hair.It was Hannah alright.But with Anna Stratton? What was this?

"Hannah!"she called out.Hannah stopped, her hair swinging around and falling over her shoulder

"Please do not address me in public." She hissed and walked off laughing with Anna.

**********End Flashback**********

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	3. Defending Her Honor

The Strong Are Saying Nothing

Chapter 3

That night in the Cliffhanger boys' dorm, conversation was unusually present.

"I think she's hot." Ezra said into the dark.

"Me too." Auggie said.

"Shelby hates her." Ezra said and turned over in his bed facing Scott who was trying to pretend he was asleep."With a fiery passion. What do _you_ think about her, Scott?"

"Who?" he asked pretending to be groggy.

"Hannah." Ezra said in a sing songy voice.

"Oh...she's ok." He said. And he meant it.

"Just ok?" Ezra pushed.

"JUST ok." Scott snapped. This was getting old fast.

"He can't like her, man." Auggie said."He likes Shelby and Shelby hates her." Auggie turned over in bed and put the pillow over his head.He wanted them to shut up so he could get some sleep!

"Scott, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Ezra said.Scott was quiet for a moment contemplating it. No, he didn't get it. What the hell was he talking about?

"What the hell are you talking about?" Scott said.

"He MEANS," David started."That Hannah's still hot whether or not Shelby likes her and you know it."

"Whatever." Scott said. He was too tired to fight with David.

"So...uh..why aren't you meeting Shelby tonight? She finally figure out she was too good for you?" Ezra joked.

"As a matter of fact, I'm going now." He said throwing the covers off.In all reality Shelby was still mad at him and he was just going out there to get away from their annoying chatter.Maybe Shelby would be there. Who knows?

He walked out to the gazebo holding his jacket. It was cold but he was too lazy to put it on.From a distance he could see the outline of a figure.Maybe Shelby had come anyway.He stepped up onto the gazebo behind the girl and saw long, wavy, dark hair. Definitely not Shelby; it was Hannah, and she sat in silence.Scott decided he should leave her alone. Besides, he was behind her and she hadn't seen him yet.He could sneak off.He turned to go.

"You don't have to go," she said just loud enough for him to hear.He stopped, turned around and stepped into the gazebo.He took a seat a few feet away from her and crossed his arms. It was getting colder.He was about to put that jacket on when he glanced at her. She was in a t-shirt and a pair of light pink cotton pajama bottoms. She had to be freezing.She was shivering and he could see her breath.

"Here." He said and held out the jacket.

"No, it's fine.I'm fine." She insisted.

"Take it." He said firmly"If you don't you'll get sick and get us both in trouble." He said.She looked at him and took it.She put it on

"Thanks." She said.They sat in silence for a minute.

"What are you doing out here all by yourself in the cold?" Scott asked her.

"I could ask you the same question." She said.

"Shelby and I usually come out here at night. But...yah know she's mad at me." He said. Hannah was quiet"Again." He added.

"That's my fault, isn't it?" she said.

"Nah, it's mine.It's always mine.

"Listen, I've been trying to cause problems for Shelby since I got here. It was stupid of me to think that it wouldn't affect anyone else."

"Don't worry about it." Scott said."It's your first day. The first day is always the worst.Believe me, I know. I remember mine loud and CLEAR." He said with a small laugh.He slouched down a little.

"What happened?" she asked."If you don't mind me asking."

"I came home after a night of partying and drugs. My usual.And my dad had a guy waiting there to bring me here.I tried to run when I got here." He laughed softly."But...I found out it's alright here.At least I feel safe."

"You....didn't feel safe at home?" she asked.He studied her with those intense eyes. 

"Stuff happened in my house," he started "that my father didn't see.Or didn't want to see."

"Oh. At least you could live in a house with your dad." She said

"Your parents divorced?" he asked.

"No, they're not." She said quietly.She gave him a look before she looked away.He knew that look.Shelby used to give him that look. It meant 'don't ask me any more questions, I'm not ready to answer.'That look was very familiar.He decided to go back to the dorm.He stood.

"I'm gonna go back to the dorm.You should probably go in soon, too. Before they make the rounds."

"Okay." She said looking straight ahead.

"Okay....goodnight." he said and left her in the gazebo.She left a few minutes later.When she got back to the dorm she collapsed into the bed and all the sleep that she had been missing finally came.

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Hannah woke up to the sound of Juliette banging on the bathroom door and yelling at Shelby that she needed to get her hairbrush

"Alright already!" Shelby yelled.She came out of the bathroom towel drying her hair.Jules was scowling at her"You know if you keep that look on your face it's gonna leave wrinkles."Jules rolled her eyes and grabbed the brush on the side of the sink.Then she smiled brightly as she brushed her hair. Hannah got out of bed.

"What the hell are you wearing?!" Shelby yelled at her.

"What?" Hannah asked and turned around to face her.

"That's Scott's jacket...why the HELL are you wearing SCOTT'S jacket?!" Shelby yelled angrily at her and threw the towel down.Shelby was right.She was.She had totally forgotten to give it back to him last night.Hannah was going to explain but when she saw how crazy this was making Shelby....why not lead her on?

"Oh...this? It was really cold last night on the gazebo..he gave it to me...his jacket really warmed me up." She said.Daisy watched, her mouth hanging open.Jules was standing next to her biting her lower lip

"HE WHAT?!" Shelby bellowed.

"He gave it to me to wear at the gazebo last night.I was cold.You didn't show up..so..."

So....what? So he gave you his jacket?!Did you make out with him like I would have too?!" Shelby yelled.Hannah smiled that gorgeous smile.

"It's....kind of hot in here." She said and slipped the jacket off her arm.Shelby grabbed it

"I can't stand you! I hate you and I wish you had never come! You're such a bitch!"Shelby turned and ran into the bathroomHannah shrugged and looked at Daisy and Juliette.

"You can pick your chins up off the floor now, girls." She said.

One Shelby got into the bathroom, she put Scott's jacket on and breathed in his smell.How could she have let this happen? How could Hannah do this? Shelby knew Hannah was low, but she never imagined she'd sink this low.And SCOTT! Just because they had a little fight he went and busied himself with Hannah. A few minutes later Daisy came to the door.

"Shelby can I come in?" she asked and knocked.

"Yes, but just you and Jules...." she said." I don't want to see Hannah." She said. 

"It's just me.Juliette isn't with me."Daisy came in and shut the door.She looked at Shelby who was leaning up against the sink.She touched Scott's jacket on Shelby.It's not even that great of a jacket." She joked with a smile.Shelby let out a small laugh.Daisy handed her a tissue."Shelby, don't let Hannah and Scott do this to you.Go defend your honor." She said.

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Back in the dorm Shelby took of Scott's jacket and put on her own, but she took it with her to the cafeteria.She saw Scott sitting with Auggie and Ezra.She stormed over.She threw the jacket at him.It hit his face and then fell into his arms.

"There is your jacket that you misplaced ON HANNAH!" she yelled.

"Shelby—" he started but she cut him off.

"Shut up! Shut up because I don't want your lame excuses anymore!If you want Hannah, then you take her.I don't care anymore!I can't BELIEVE I was actually considering having sex with you!You are a liar and a fake and I hope I never speak to you or that little slut AGAIN!" and she walked away.Scott was dumbfounded.He looked down at the jacket.

"OUCH!" Ezra exclaimed "Wow! I've seen guys get dumped before but that was just- -"

"Ezra, man, shut up." Auggie said looking at Scott and making sure he didn't crawl under the table and die.


	4. Shut Up and Kiss Me

The Strong Are Saying Nothing 

The Strong Are Saying Nothing

Chapter 4

Scott looked up at Auggie trying to clear his thoughts. Once he got over the initial shock of what had just happened, anger replaced surprise. Then fury pushed anger right off the edge. He swallowed hard and narrowed his eyes towards the door. He wasn't so sure what to do with himself.

"Scott?" Ezra asked leaning over so he was looking at Scott's face.

"Man….are you okay?" Auggie added holding onto his fork but not letting it touch the food.

"I'm fine." He growled

How could she embarrass him like that? And in front of everyone! He hadn't even done anything. _It'd be different if I actually deserved that._ He stood up abruptly; his chair fell over and clattered loudly to the wood floor. The cafeteria silenced and people turned their gazes towards Scott who stood fuming above his toppled chair. Scott and Ezra looked up at him, not with fear, but in sheer wonder at what he would do next. One never knew with Scott. He was as unpredictable as unpredictable people came. Maybe more so. Whatever the case, Scott was too preoccupied with Shelby that he paid no mind to the stares. He bolted out of the room. Auggie looked over at Ezra and Ezra looked At Auggie.

"Well…" Auggie said. _Good lord, here we go again._

"Round one has begun." Ezra said and took a bite out of an apple. "Violence anticipated."

Scott bolted across the lawn, and doubled his speed when he saw her so he could catch up. A few feet behind her he called out her name. She just quickened her pace. "Could you have been ANY louder?!" he yelled when she didn't respond.

"Oh. Is that all you care about?" she asked swinging around to face him. "That your toadies heard you get dumped? You don't care about me, Scott." He just stared at her for a second. 

"Shelby I do c--" he started

"And another thing! Having sex with you would've been the biggest mistake of my life, and believe me, I have some big ones, and I'm so glad I didn't go through with it. Hannah's already taken care of that for me. She's such a giving person, isn't she?" she said and started walking towards the dorm again.

"You don't know what you're talking about." He said angrily walking by her side at a quick pace.

"I think I have a pretty good idea of what I'm talking about. Just to be sure, I'll ask Hannah. I'm sure she'd be more than happy to give me the juicy details. Maybe she'd throw in some embellishments….you know…as a consolation prize. Sorry, this is not a winning game piece, play again." She mocked. She swung open the door of the dorm and entered, Scott at her heels.

"The whole thing would be an embellishment, Shelby! There's nothing to tell!"

"Right." She said and dropped down beside her bed. She managed to find time to give Hannah a dirty look, who was currently involved in a little nail polishing with Juliette. Daisy was sprawled out on her bed reading a book. She didn't give Scott and Shelby a second look. She was used to them blowing through her like a tornado every week or so. Shelby reached far under the bed for something.

"I don't understand why you're so mad at me." Scott said leaning over, practically spelling the words out to her. 

"Let me give you a little bit of help." She said pulling the retrieved object, a box, out and putting it on the bed. She threw the top off and pulled out a pile of stuff that was his. "Understand THIS?" she asked and slammed the stuff to his chest. _No, he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand anything. _"Now get out," she said and stared into his eyes coldly.

"Shelby…." he started to plead. He dropped the stuff on her bed and looked at her intently. She shut her eyes so she wouldn't have to see the hurt in his.

"NO!" she yelled. "Out! Get out!"

"Shelby, please!" he begged of her and grabbed her wrist.

"Get out of my face and get out of my life." She said icily, but strangely calm, because inside she was jumping up and down screaming till her face turned blue and her throat was raw.

"Would you just listen to me? Just for a minute. Please?" he asked

"If you don't let go of me, and get out of this room right now I am going to kick you where you will remember it for a very long time." She said. He hesitated a moment. "If you want children later on in life you won't test me right now. You're future wife might be a little pissed." 

Imagining a blow to that area was enough to make Scott let go. He knew she wasn't kidding either. He walked towards the door but paused in the doorway and was going to say something to Shelby.

"Just go, Scott." Shelby said quietly, standing strong. He dropped his head and walked out into the pouring rain. Mud was so thick it would take him forever to trudge through it. Shelby shook her head and threw the stuff back in the box and shoved it back under the bed. She threw herself down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

"You wanna know what I think?" Daisy asked shutting her book.

"Not really." Shelby said "But I know you're gonna tell me anyway, so let's just get it up and over with." She tried to avoid eye contact with Hannah at all costs.

"I think love is just an excuse to abuse someone." She said. "And that means expensive therapy for everyone. I resent the thought of love." Shelby rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at Daisy's face.

"You're right in way. But I guess I should've known better. Guys use girls. Walt did it to me. Your dad did it to you. Scott's no exception. So....Hannah I guess you won….so aren't you gonna gloat and make me look bad already?" she demanded.

"Shelby...he didn't do anything." Hannah said, barely audible. _I had to tell her sometime, right?_

"What?" Shelby asked. She didn't know if she had quite heard Hannah right. "He…he…he didn't..um.." she stuttered

"He didn't do anything!!!!! Go after him!" Jules exclaimed. She could thoroughly enjoy a good love scene now that she had Auggie. Shelby glanced at her and ran out the door yelling his name. Scott was still trudging through the mud, rain pouring down over him.

"SCOTT!" she yelled. He spun around as she leveled with him. She grabbed his jacket and just looked at him, breathing heavily, their breath visible in the chilled mountain air. "Look, I'm sorry….back there...well, I didn't mean that…you're not a mistake." She was still holding his jacket. Drops of rain rolled off his rugged curls, down over his face.

Jules watched from the window with a comic smile on her face. Daisy eventually joined her, leaving Hannah sitting by herself on her bed.

"Shelby, she was cold…I gave her my jacket so- -" Shelby put a hand over his mouth.

"I know. And I should have never doubted you. Not for a second. You have been nothing but loyal to me." She removed her hand. "And I hope you can forgive me for this whole mess."

"Shelby?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and kiss me." He said with a smile forming on his face. She smiled back and allowed him to kiss her.

"AWWWWW!" Jules squealed from the window. Daisy rolled her eyes. Juliette was so transparent. She wore her heart on her sleeve.

"They make me sick." Daisy said turning around, trying to fight off a smile. She was happy for Shelby. She was happy when Shelby was happy. Scott made Shelby happy. Therefore, Scott better not ever go away or it would mess up the whole thing.

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That night in the lodge, all was well. Well…almost anyway. Scott and Shelby were cuddled together on the couch. Hannah was sitting alone. The thing with Shelby had gotten way out of hand. What had happened in the past, she had never meant to happen. Maybe she had gotten a little full of herself in 9th grade, but that was the way she was expected to act around those people and she wanted so desperately to fit in. Shelby sure held grudges though. Rightly, so. Treating Shelby like that seemed funny at the time. Looking back on it now she realized how stupid it was. Shelby might have been her one true friend and She had betrayed her. _No, no. Not betrayed. It was worse than that Hannah Parkerson. You disowned her. _And for what? Nothing. All for some meaningless times with people who meant nothing to her. She and Shelby had been such great friends. _I'd give anything for a friend like that again._

"A penny for your thoughts?" Juliette asked and sat down next to her.

"I'm not sure if they're worth that much." Hannah said and looked away. "I'm such a screw up."

"Listen…we all make mistakes…I mean, otherwise we wouldn't be here, right?" Jules smiled

"I wouldn't have made mistakes if it weren't for other people's mistakes in the first place." She said more to herself than to Juliette.

"Well yeah. That's how it is for everybody here. Ask anybody. All our problems are the direct result of someone else's screw ups." Hannah didn't reply. You should talk to Shelby. Just go talk to her." Jules said glancing over at Shelby who was laughing at something Scott had said. Scott had that characteristic half smile resting on his lips as he looked at Shelby, who had her head thrown back in an all out laugh. Hannah smiled to herself._ Woah was that a smile? Did I just smile? This place must be getting to me already. Damn it._

Hannah glanced over at Shelby, who was cuddling on the couch with Scott. _Just go over and talk to her. It won't kill you_

She took a deep breath and then strode towards Shelby with easy strides. _Don't screw this up. You've done that WAY too many times_

Shelby looked up to see her ex-best friend walking towards her and scowled. "What do you want?" she asked hatefully. 

Scott followed Shelby's glance and rolled his eyes internally once he saw who Shelby was talking to. _I just fixed things with Shelby. Don't put her in a bad mood_, _damn it._

Hannah's slight smile faded. _Face it. Any friendship you used to have with Shelby is gone, and there's no way to fix it_ "Um…can we talk?" she asked slowly, her eyes silently begging for Shelby to accept.

Shelby replied with an evil glare. "What's to talk about? Everything's in the past. No need to dig it back up again."

Scott looked up at Shelby, wondering if that comment was directed towards him. "Shel, I thought we talked about this. I didn't know…" he startes

Shelby then gave Scott the same look she had been giving Hannah. "Scott, this isn't about you! This is about me and Hannah!" she yelled, rubbing her throbbing temples. _Right when I think everything is fine, all this crap has to happen_

"I know, but, for some reason, I feel like you were trying to tell me something…" Scott started.

Shelby then quickly stood up and turned to Hannah who was standing in front of the couch. "Fine. Let's talk," she muttered, eager to get away from Scott all of a sudden.

Hannah's eyes widened in surprise. "Um…okay. How about we go to the dorm?" she asked while motioning behind her.

"Alright," Shelby replied a little angrily, for she was still upset with Hannah.

And before Scott could protest, she was gone, her long blonde hair swaying against her back.

Hannah started to follow her, but then looked back at Scott.

His head was in hands, and he looked extremely upset. "Hey, Scott?"

He looked up at Hannah, a sad expression on his face. "Yeah?" he asked quietly.

"Shelby obviously loves you. She's just pissed at me, and she's taking it out on you." Hannah paused. "Don't worry about it."

Scott gave a small smile. "Ya think so?" he asked hopefully.

Hannah returned the smile. "No."

Scott's smile quickly vanished.

Hannah laughed. "I KNOW so," she corrected.

Scott then grinned. "Thanks."

"No problem," Hannah replied as she started to walk towards the dorm.

Once she was at the door, she turned to hear Scott call her name. "Yeah?" she questioned impatiently, her hand on the knob. _I'd like to talk Shelby sometime today_.

"I hope everything works out between you guys," he stated rather shyly._ Then maybe she'll be in the mood for…well…_he thought to himself.

Hannah's expression softened. "Yeah, me too," she replied. _Me, too_

Meanwhile, Juliette and Daisy had been doing their homework, sitting directly in back of where the last incident had occurred. 

Juliette blissfully sighed as she watched a now hopeful Hannah leave the lodge. "I bet you they're going to become best friends like they used to be!" she exclaimed,.

Daisy winced in pain, for Juliette's words had hurt her. 

She quickly shook if off and continued doing her homework. _They won't. Hannah hurt her too badly _ "Once a bitch, always a bitch," she replied, putting up a mask.

Juliette gave Daisy a confused look. "Now that's not true. From the outside, Shelby seems like a bitch. But then you break down the walls, and she has a heart, just like the rest of us," she stated proudly.

"Hannah may have hurt Shelby in the past, but maybe her wall was being used at the time," she added, picking up her pencil and writing down the next answer.

Juliette's words stung Daisy once again. _She can't take Shelby away from me. She can't just waltz in and make everything better again. And there's no way Shelby will forgive her for all that she did…right?_

Daisy slightly nodded to herself and then looked down at the book sitting in front of her, before another thought crossed her mind. _Or will she?_

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Once Hannah had settled comfortably on her bed, she looked over at Shelby, who was sitting across from her, crosslegged on the bed. 

Shelby returned Hannah's gaze with icy blue eyes.

Hannah smiled to herself. _Some things never change._ When the two had been younger and had actually been friends, they would always have staring contests, and Shelby would always win; her intimidating eyes would always make Hannah look away. _Happier times_

Her eyes never left Shelby's. _I'll just prove to her I've changed since then._

After a couple of minutes of utter silence and empty stares, Shelby finally rolled her eyes and looked away. "Okay, you wanted to talk, so talk. In case you haven't noticed I have other things to deal with." 

Hannah's gaze rested on her feet. "Right, right."

After taking a second to locate her thoughts, she looked back up at Shelby, her green eyes hopeful. "Shelby, I am SO sorry about what happened in the ninth grade," Hannah stated boldly.

Shelby smirked. "Whatever, I don't care anymore. If that's what you wanted to talk about, then save your breath."

Hannah shook her head, her dark hair falling against her face. "I just…you were my best friend. You were always there for me. Always." She paused. "And I just…dumped you. Just like that."

Shelby was silent. _What do I say now?_

But before she had to think about, Hannah continued. "Shel, I understand that what I did was beyond horrible. Peer pressure and I battled…and it won. I know that it's probably impossible because of the pain I caused, but…"

She gazed at Shelby and her eyes automatically started tearing up. "Do you think that there's a chance that we could maybe be friends again?"

The room was deathly quiet as Shelby searched for words to say. "Hannah, we're different people now. My life has changed so much. I just can't deal with anything else right now." she answered truthfully.

Hannah sniffled a little as a tear fell down her cheek. "Okay, I understand," she said quietly.

Shelby then knelt down in front of Hannah and gave a slight smile. "Look…I'm not so great at this forgiveness thing so don't expect much from me. But……"

Hannah's eyes widened. _But…but….come on…._

"But, I'm gonna try. I really am gonna try to trust you again. And maybe in time I'll be able to deal with it..and put it behind me." Shelby finished.

Hannah's smile mirrored her peer's. "And we could be friends again, just like before."

"Don't push it." Shelby said standing up. 

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next chapter coming soon…..next chapter of The Absence of Fear coming even sooner!

~Lauren and Bee~


	5. It's In Her Eyes

The Strong Are Saying Nothing

Chapter 5

Although it seemed Hannah and Shelby had come to terms with each other and might start to rebuild the friendship that was broken so long ago, Hannah still sensed tension between them. It was not tension from harsh words they had exchanged or from things that they had done to each other in the past. The tension resulted from something that was so much harder to overcome, and so much harder to recognize. It came from things that hadn't been said, but only sensed and not acted upon. Each were guilty of their own instances of this.

Hannah had tried so hard to keep her past a secret, and so far no one at the school knew, and of course she wasn't going to tell them unless she was forced. Peter didn't know, although he asked her daily if she wanted to talk. Sophie was guilty of this too, the constant inquiring about her past. The Cliffhanger group was clueless about it, and that gave her strange comfort. She could start over here, where no one would know who she was and what she had done unless she wanted to tell them. The group never asked her, they all had their secrets, she was sure. 

Shelby, though. There was something in her eyes. Something telling Hannah that she knew more than anyone else did. It wasn't there all the time. Just certain times. The tone of her voice when she talked to Hannah, some of the things she would say hinted that she knew. Maybe Hannah was just being paranoid. _How could Shelby possibly know anything anyway. She disappeared in 9th grade remember? She wasn't around. She doesn't know. _Hannah would always try to comfort herself with those words, but every time Shelby would look at her that way Hannah would get that sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that maybe her secret wasn't as well kept as she thought that it had been.

The morning drifted around and gave way to the usual day full of long and seemingly pointless classes

"I don't know why we have to learn this stuff. I don't need to know about DNA and cells for what I'm gonna do." Scott said pushing his book away from him.

"And what's that?" Daisy asked. "Your beloved football?"

"Nah..no chance, not here. I don't know yet. But I know it will have _nothing_ at all to do with DNA. I hate science."

"Please tell me this day is over." Shelby said and dropped her head to the table and banged it a couple of times.

"Almost." Kat said and looked at her watch "Just a few minutes. Then we have group."

"Oh goody." Daisy said " We get to lay out the contents of our hearts to the group. Just what I wanted to do." She shut her book  


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"Okay, guys." Peter said to the lazy looking group of people sitting in a circle in the lodge. He picked up the stick "Every time…" he said and tossed it to Ezra

"Every time you laugh I see who you really are." He said and looked at Daisy. She looked away. He tossed it to Kat

"Every time I think about graduating….I get scared." She tossed it to Shelby

"Every time I almost give up, something happens to keep me going." She said and tossed it to Scott

"Every time you don't trust me..it hurts." He said and tossed it to Daisy

"Every time we do this excersize I get an urge to knock myself out with this stick." She said and looked at Peter waiting for him to stop her and make her say something else. 

"I'm not gonna stop you Daisy, that was a genuine emotion, so let's go." He said. She shrugged and tossed it to Auggie

"Every time I get a paintbrush in my hand...I feel...I feel like I can say what I want to say on the canvas." He tossed it to Juliette

"Every time I look in the mirror…I'm beginning to see that I'm alright." She tossed it to David

"Every time I get a call from my dad I want you to tell him I'm dead." He said to Peter, who gave him no reaction. David looked around the room. Who hadn't gone? Scott..yes…Shelby..yes…Ezra…ah, Hannah. He tossed it at Hannah who was sitting on the couch. She grabbed it in mid air. She wasn't quite sure what to say until Shelby made eye contact with her.

"Every time you look at me that way… I know you know." She said. Shelby didn't break the eye contact, so Hannah finally pulled her gaze away and handed the stick back to Peter

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After group Hannah was walking back to the girls dorms by herself. Shelby caught up to her.

"You know that I know what?" she asked Hannah

"I know you know...what happened to me. And I don't know how you know...but I'd appreciate it if you would keep it just between us. I'm not ready to tell anyone else."

"I don't really know anything.." Shelby lied. Well, it wasn't all a lie. "So you want to tell me anything?"

"Not really." She said.

"Okay." Shelby said. She wasn't going to push Hannah to talk at all. That's what all the counselors were for. They walked in silence for a couple of yards

Hannah couldn't hold everything in. She wanted to tell Shelby something. "You know how I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters?" she said

"Yeah…" Shelby said shoving her hands down into her pockets. "Hannah...I've known you forever…I've met them all."

I'm the oldest and everything." She said. Shelby rolled her eyes 

"Yah, I know that too." She said

" 6 kids… that's a lot. And...my mom left us." Shelby didn't say anything. "And my dad got demoted…so he was making a lot less money...and…when I turned 16…he asked me to leave. He said I was old enough to support myself, that he couldn't do it anymore, not with 5 other kids in the house. Well, anyway, I didn't know what to do..so I..went to my friends. The friends that I had made after you left…only…they wouldn't help me, wouldn't give me a place to stay. So that's how it started for me. I'm sure you know the rest."

"I don't." Shelby lied again

"Well, we'll save something for a rainy day." Hannah said and went into the dorm. Shelby looked at the door for a minute. She had never imagined that Hannah's father would send his own daughter out in the world like that. But then again...people were capable of inhuman things and every one at this school was proof of that. 

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can we get…..10??? PLEASE?! And im also gonna plug my website while I'm at it

www.geocities.com/brenna8186

Look for Lauren's story "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" and Bee's "The Absence of Fear" 

© 2002 Lauren and Bee


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